My Mind, It Was Going Le Crazy

Kathryn and I are back in the 5400 after a weekend in Laramie. Good times. And now, well, it's pretty much like a Sunday night except it's Monday.

For many, many, many years, I've tried to remember the title of a movie I saw as a kid. I asked my parents (both of whom really aren't the type to remember movies, especially movies they dragged me to during the Carter administration); I asked my friends at work; I asked Dirk - that infallible repository of bad pop culture - and even he couldn't help me out.

Now in all fairness, the only detail I could come up with was that it had three old guys in it and they wanted to rob a bank. So perhaps I really can't blame anyone for their lack of help.

Tonight I had the brilliant idea to surf around IMDB. I tried a search for Walter Matthau because I was fairly certain he was in it. No joy.

Then I Googled "three old guys rob a bank" and found it: Going in Style, starring George Burns. I might rent it one of these days, but mostly I was just glad to finally - finally! - have that figured out.

One OCD tic down, five thousand eight hundred and three to go.

Maybe You Should Have Uglier Friends

Two TV ads I've enjoyed lately:

1. The two lions watching yutzes on Safari unload some Taco Bell. "Carrrrrrrne asada." Funny stuff.

2. The cell phone ad with a family at the dinner table discussing the two kids' top five friends on their phones. While the exchange between the daughter and son is funny, the father's reaction to the daughter's theatrics is even funnier.

Off to Laramie tomorrow, depending on the snow dragons.

The Scariest Commercial in the History of Ever

The other night Kathryn and I were watching a show - Heroes? Good Eats, maybe? - when a commercial came on so weird, so scary, so profoundly troubling, that I had to pause (thank you, DVR) and rewind.

Now I think we can all remember some creepy commercials without too much effort. The odd five year old girl with the Southern accent espousing Welch's grape juice, for example, used to give me nightmares. I can't make it through one commercial break on those more peripheral cable channels like the Military Channel or Fox Soccer Channel without being subjected to some hot chick cooing that "she knows you still got it," and that I can pick up some awesome performance enhancers without a prescription.

But it wasn't on an obscure cable channel that we saw the scariest effing thing we've seen in a long time. No, it was on a normal station, and I'm willing to bet you've seen it too.

That's right. I'm talking about the return of Orville Redenbacher.

On its surface the ad is innocent enough - good ol' Orville says something about music and makes a little popcorn. Then, at the end, a group of real people group around him as he bops away with headphones.

Note I say "real" people, and I ain't alluding to a really bad early '80's primetime TV show. No, I'm referring to the fact that while the actors and actresses who collect around Orville appear to be normal human beings, ORVILLE IS QUITE CLEARLY NOT HUMAN.

That's right. Someone either did a really bad makeup job trying to make someone else look like Orville, or they pixelated his happy ass in order to increase Q1 profits down on Redenbacher headquarters. Smart money's on that second one.

I'm serious about this. If you happen to catch the ad, and if you happen to have DVR, pick a moment when Orville has a close up and pause your TV. You'll see what I mean. Creepy.